Drake vs Chris Brown: #TeamDrizzy or #TeamBreezy??

“I know you’ve been hurt…by someone else”

Oh, Rihanna. If only you would sing the line you sing on Drake’s “Take Care” to Chris Brown now… it’d be so funny. It’d be like pouring salt on a wound. A chin wound.

Anyway. Today’s blog is focused on the Khantroversy that is the Chris Brown-Drake fight that “allegedly” occurred at a New York nightclub last Weds night (I don’t know why I’m even using the word ‘allegedly’ because A. this is a blog, not CNN, and B. no one is arguing that it was a peaceful night.)

And instead of just recapping the “victims” and what people are saying actually went down (was it really over Rihanna?), I figured I’d have some fun with this. Besides, there are 100+ other news outlets with a story about the “incident.” I’m here to just entertain…informatively, of course.

Reasons to be #TeamBreezy

• You’re influenced by popularity and Chris has 2.5 million more Twitter followers than Drake.
• You cheer for the underdog – Chris has overcome hardships and public scrutiny, and many automatically paint him as “the bad guy” because of the Rihanna incident.
• You’re a 90s child. He’s on Jive Records, yep the same label that is home to Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears.
• You’re a sucker for Disney, and your favorite episode of “Suite Life of Zack and Cody” just so happens to be the one that Chris was on.
• You loved his performance in “Think Like A Man” (at least I did. Ay, Monique!)
• You’re addicted to ink – and Chris Brown has more tattoos than Drake (even one of a Super Nintendo controller. And, yes, that’s a hyperlink to my interview with him from 2008.)
• You judge people based on their blog site and well, MechanicalDummy.com is a far superior layout than Drake’s http://www.octobersveryown.net  (First off, it’s a “.net” – sooo last decade.)
• You’re a Golddigger and well…he’s won more awards.

 

Reasons to be #TeamDrizzy

• You were a big fan of “Degrassi” growing up.
• You make decisions based on # Facebook “likes” – and Drake is beating Chris Brown in that department.
• You’re Jewish, and you have to support your brethren.
• You’re Canadian. Or at least believe that Canada never hurts anyone.
• You’ve adopted “YOLO” into your everyday vocabulary, and you have him to thank (later, of course.)
• You’ve been a victim of domestic violence and can’t find it within you to support the other guy.
• You place high importance on grammar, and Chris Brown’s usage of excessive exclamation points on Twitter reminds you of a time when the teenager-dominated MySpace ruled to world(wide web.)
• You liked his song called “Forever” more than Chris Brown’s (I mean, everybody got a deal, Drake did it without one.)

 

Reasons to be #TeamIDontGiveAF—

• You care about real world events (um, at least 15 just died in a suicide bombing in Iraq, guys.)
• You don’t like either artist, and even cringe at the sight of the word “artist” in association with them.
• You’re racist.
• You’re currently dating and/or hooking up with Rihanna.

 

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