Justin Timberlake does a lot of things. He sings. He dances. He acts. He hosts. He jokes. He runs a record label. A clothing line. A tequila line. Probably has done other lines (yes that’s a reference to cocaine.)
Anyway…. for the most part, I’ve supported all these endeavors since I decided in 1998 that he would become the crush of my lifetime (or well, half lifetime, since there was a time before JT.) I’m a very loyal girl. Don’t screw me over and I’ll be by your side for better and for worse.
And well, since the word “worse” has been brought up, I must address something that has bothered me over the last few weeks, in regard to the usually amazing and talented Timberlake.
Let’s just say that JT is trying to be JZ (Jay-Z actually, it just visually looked better written like that when trying to make the comparison.) What I mean by that?
He’s…. rapping.
Yes, rapping. As in, speaking words at really a rapid rate while rhyming, most commonly done successfully by black people, Eminem aside.
Now before I show you the video, where JT joins his Tennman Records artist FreeSol in the song “Role Model” – I’d like to break down some of the lyrics.
First off, he claims to “ball like a Laker.”
Yo Justin, this may have been a great reference in 2010, but this song came out in 2011. I don’t know if you know this but… the Lakers sorta dropped the ball this year. And got swept. So, in your defense, I hope you meant “bawl like a Laker”… as in shed tears over the fact that rapping isn’t your greatest talent.
He also tells us “I’m going hard like the opposite of soft” – I see no brilliance in this. Honestly, I just feel like if you’re gonna rap, it’s gotta be clever genius like Drake, Eminem, Jay-Z, Kanye, even Weezy… but, this is straight Diddy (which means Justin will be more successful in rap if he just manages other rappers careers.)
I will say the one time I smirked is when Justin says “Oops did I take it too far? Superbowl!” and then pulls his shirt to the side. That was a reference to the CBS drama when he took the Superbowl stage with Janet Jackson and well, had the “wardrobe malfunction.” Way to call yourself out and admit to the crime, JT. #7yearslate
Anyway, I’m not gonna analyze every line because….well, then I’d have to think of clever things to say about everything, and writer’s block is setting in. So please, just watch this video for yourself, and make your own judgment on JT’s rapping skills.
PS. Viewer Discretion advised… (Side Effects include: shock, horror, a decrease in attraction, a mild case of amusement, and an occasional laugh.)
PPS When it comes to rapping, clearly… THIS Justin does it better:
